One Woman Revival

When we want to express that something is effortless, we call it a walk in the park. Yet I must often remind myself to take break and go out into that green space. Labor Day weekend was quiet in most of San Francisco, but it seemed everyone in town made their way to Golden Gate Park. Strolling down JFK Drive, I passed art installations that had made the journey to and from Nevada for Burning Man. I had done that same trip two years ago and returned muddy but otherwise unchanged. Perhaps I did not have the full experience as it was cut short by the rains. It felt like I had only made it to base camp. I had considered going again, this time aiming for the summit.

But I did not make it out to Black Rock City this year either. Instead I had staycation while cat sitting for friends who were on their own adventure. Wrapped in a fuzzy blanket with my furry roommate, I grappled with restlessness as my itchy feet urged me to start moving again. I plotted road trips in my head and mapped grand international escapes. But then I stayed still, cautious about launching myself on any trajectory. In the past I have propelled myself forward as a distraction from my inner turmoil, so this time I waited to see if would feel a gentle pull forward rather than an anxious push. But it can be difficult to distinguish between the two.

And so until I know for sure, I am paused. I feel the warmth of the sun and breathe in the trees. Bicyclists zip past families wafting bubbles into the wind. Drums beat in the background as a couple sleeps in the grass. Runners and their dogs trot alongside us deliberate walkers. All of us savoring the park on a shared day off. Maybe it is just that easy.